Information Magazine about Adoption, Complex Cases of Fertility & Surrogacy
Explaining surrogacy to a child

Explaining surrogacy to a child

  1. harren121

    Good day to all ladies who are here. This forum is like a family for me. I am not an active member because of my daily house chores as well as my office job. That’s why I can’t give enough time to social media. I was thinking to ask a question for many days but always postponed. Now I get time to ask it finally. I was thinking about what would happen, if a surrogate boy after reaching his adult age, like to go back to his real parents. Should the intended parents tell him about his birth? One most important factor is about his nature and habits. Maybe his habits match to her mother. Maybe he gets curious to know about her. At this stage parents are helpless to tell him the whole story. Unfortunately, if he leaves them just for the sake of her mother what will be happened legally? I am asking this because I study a case in the newspaper. What will be there a final conclusion?

    08/24/2018 at 16:36
  2. Hi there
    Well, it is a really controversial issue. I believe that many couples who received their baby via surrogacy won`t probably tell the truth. Our son is also a product of the surrogacy service. We dealt with the childlessness long 9 years. The problem is my poor ovaries quality. That’s why surrogacy or adoption was the last which we must to consider. And we decided to deal with the surrogacy process as we wanted to have only our biological child. Our surrogacy was in the Ukrainian centre for human reproduction. Maybe you know that today Ukraine has become the most attractive place for the surrogacy and the main for this are price and legality.
    My husband and I decided that when the time comes to say how he has come to this world we would be honest with our son! It is not a good decision to lie own child. He must know that he was delivered by another woman because of the medical point. I do not deny that probably we might need the help of the psych. But parents must be honest with own children!

    02/04/2019 at 12:17
    • Gestational surrogacy helps those who are unable to have children become parents. It’s a process that requires medical and legal expertise. As well as a strong support process throughout the journey. Through IVF, embryos are created in a lab at a fertility clinic. The intended parents usually use their own genetic material. Sometimes, an egg donor is required. At the fertility clinic, 1-2 embryos are implanted into a gestational carrier, who carries the baby(ies) to term. Gestational carriers have no genetic relationship to the children they deliver. Which is the core point personally for me, as we’re moving this path as well.
      Surrogacy is an exciting process. It allows couples and individuals from a variety of backgrounds, ages and sexual orientations to build their families. Intended parents who use surrogacy include: Heterosexual couples who have struggled with infertility. Intended mothers who are unable to carry a child. Intended parents who have a genetic defect or health condition they don’t want to pass onto the child. Also same sex IP who want to have a genetic link to their baby. Each surrogacy journey is unique though. I thin quite often about how to tell my baby he’s/she’s (we still don’t know the sex of the baby) come to this world through surrogacy..But I’m sure this is gonna be not an easy task.

      05/20/2019 at 12:38
    • I too had to go the surrogacy route. It is very difficult to accept and move on knowing your genes will are to be saved through lab works. I knew I still would have a child with my features. And only after we had discussed it all, I knew we were moving the right way. This is a surrogate whose blood flows through a baby to nourish. Our surrogate had transfer back in summer. We were successful from the first attempt!

      12/10/2019 at 20:09
  3. My husband and I had our surrogacy in Ukraine which gave us a lovely daughter. But unlike Susanna, we decided that we shouldn’t say about this to our daughter. It can turn her brain. Moreover, we try not to remember that she was born via surrogacy. We were dealing with the infertility issue almost 5 years and surrogacy was the last chance. She was so desirable baby.
    Only relatives know that she is a product of the surrogacy service. It is a big secret in our family. She is our baby and it doesn`t matter how she was born.

    02/08/2019 at 14:42
    • I’m glad you’ve got positive experience. The thing which bothered me the most is that I couldn’t go through things myself! I couldn’t feel myself how our baby’s kicking into ribs or pushing inside of you in the middle of the night. I couldn’t discuss all those symptoms ladies are discussing when being 1st trymester prego. I had scans pictures and could only imagine how it feels and it made me mentally sick at times. I did need a surrogate to carry my baby. And I did become happy that very way. No reasons to be afraid any more. I believe we are all in time.

      12/10/2019 at 20:07
  4. But isn’t it a bit selfish hiding the origin of your daughter? Every person has the right to know where he/she comes from. What would you to if your baby finds it out sooner or later?

    09/26/2019 at 07:50
  5. Harren, I would say at adult age a person gains the right to go off as they please, surrogacy or not so it makes little difference. A child that becomes an adult could leave home to live the other side of the world because they prefer it so. Almost totally down to them.

    That said if you do your best to be in good relationship with your child and have brought them up all those years they will likely be little reason for them to want to go elsewhere far away unless they have a real burning desire to do so. Most people tend to stay bear what they know and avoid alien environments where it takes time to adjust if they can at all. So I wouldn’t worry about it just enjoy time with your child growing up 🙂

    11/03/2019 at 10:49
  6. I don’t think a child would feel the need to go back to its “real parents”. Its real parents, first of all, are the IPs. Of course, the surrogate child might want to know where he/she comes from but wouldn’t leave their social parents, at all.

    11/04/2019 at 16:49