Hello! we’re a gay couple and we’re considering becoming parents after 2 years married!!!! We’re in a bundle of joy but as you may suppose we can’t conceive children naturally so guessing adoption is the best option for us. A friend of mine sent me various internet blogs about surrogacy in which a woman gets pregnant for someone else. We don’t see anything wrong with that, but I mean… It’s like “stealing” a baby from someone else, isn’t it? It’s somehow confusing for us to get used to the idea that we’re educating and raising a child that is not ours or somehow connected to us genetically… maybe if you tell us more about this surrogate pregnancy thing we can become more open minded with it…02/08/2018 at 14:25
Thanks for creating this thread! It’s very nice to hear that you’re planning to become parents. Choosing between surrogacy and adoption is a difficult choice, actually, and it’s totally up to you.
As for your questions regarding the genetics of surrogacy, well, the good news is that gestational surrogacy removes the genetic link between the surrogate and the child and, instead, allows one of you to share his DNA with the baby-to-be thanks to a fertility treatment called IVF, that is, in vitro fertilization.
In your case, you will need an egg donor as well. The process works as follows: Firstly, the egg is fertilized at the lab with the sperm of one of you, or you can even mix your sperm so that a random sperm fertilizes it. Secondly, the resulting embryo is placed into the uterus of the gestational carrier.
In conclusion, she’ll be just the birth mother of the child, while one of you will be the genetic father. In comparison with traditional adoption, surrogacy is an advantage because it allows that at least one father is genetically linked to the baby, while this option is not possible with adoption.
I hope I have been able to help,
Best02/09/2018 at 11:55
Surrogate pregnancy is when a different woman carries your baby. The sperm would belong to you and the egg can be donated by her in your case. You can choose the eggs of a different woman if you wish. In gestational surrogacy, the eggs and the sperms are taken from the real parents. The surrogate just serves as the carrier of the baby. The child won’t be genetically related to her. I hope this was helpful.08/25/2018 at 17:55
hi, hope so you are doing great. I really appreciate your post. Nowadays surrogacy and adoption both are gaining popularity. Both are amazing at their own place. The basic difference is that the adopted child has no biological link with you. But in the case of gestational surrogacy, the child biological link is removed from the surrogate. And one of you can share your DNA with the baby through IVF process. I wish you luck on the journey.08/27/2018 at 14:11
Three days ago I went out with my bff who is 7+ months pregnant. We had a very nice evening and it was great seeing her. But the whole time I was thinking how I want to be in her shoes! She’s got pregnant from the first month ttc. And here am I who’s trying the whole freaking eternity!
She wasn’t talking that much about her pregnancy- She knows about my disability to have kids on my own. But still she was bringing some pregnancy issues up. I understand why, now her baby is the most important in her life. It was hard not to burst into tears, though I’m so happy for her. I imagine myself being pregnant, having all those pregnancy symptoms, talking to my belly and doing many many more things which future moms do!! But all of a sudden one thought has always made me scared and sick – I might never become a mom. I’m horrified at times and seems nothing can help me..Positive thinking and hope are everything I have. Being not pregnant and struggling for my first ever baby among pregnant who haven’t even tried is so hard…
On Sun I got a message from my ex roommate telling me that she is 16 wks prego. After I sent her my congrats she texted back to ask what are we waiting for and why we haven’t thought about starting a family! I felt so down, though she doesn’t know about our issues..Sometimes this road is very hard to move through..09/13/2019 at 08:19
surrogacy isn’t theft at all! Quite the contrary- it’s like getting a new familiy member besides your baby 🙂 We, in fact, have now two new familiy members with our ex surrogate and egg donor. We even celebrate christmas together. For our surrogate it was absolutely clear from the beginning, that the baby wouldn’t be hers, it isn’t even genetically linked. More, it’s like babysitting. Someone brings you their child for you to babysit but that doesn’t mean it’s yours.
Surrogacy is just like a different form of babysitting. Someone takes care of YOUR baby while it’s growing in the womb of a different woman.
Hope I could bring some ease of mind.12/20/2019 at 11:35
Hey, nice to hear about your plans. Surrogacy is a great option for you. In short, the sperm of you or your husbands sperm is collected and the donor egg is fertilized with the sperm. Then the embryo will be placed into the surrogate who will be carrying the pregnancy to term. You will have a baby who is biologically connected to one of you. All the best for your journey.01/10/2020 at 10:24
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