Hi, my wife and I are considering having a child now… But she cannot get pregnant because she had ovarian cancer when she was a teenager and had both ovaries removed along with the uterus to prevent future issues… So she’s infertile… This wasn’t an issue for her at that time but now we’re so happily married and in love that the desire of having a child is stronger… 22 years after having her system removed, she’s considering motherhood and we’re facing this problem… Should we go for adoption or surrogacy? What do you think? What are the pros and cons of each? Please, give us some guidance…05/28/2018 at 12:39
The decision regarding the procedure that you should follow to have a child or children is in your hands. All I can do is tell you the differences between them to see if it helps you make up your mind a little bit.
Firstly, the surrogacy process involves the creation of embryos using the egg and sperm from the intended parents (that is, you) or, if it’s not possible as in the case of your wife, donor eggs and/or sperm. In your case, at least donor eggs will be required. But the main advantage is that, provided that you produce healthy and high-quality sperm, you will be genetically linked to the child.
Once the embryo is created, or embryos, it will be transferred to the uterus of your gestational carrier. Following the 9 months of pregnancy, she will deliver your child and you will become the rightful parents.
Secondly, adoption involves fostering a child that is born without a family to take care and rear him or her. In this case, the child won’t have any genetic attachment to you. Depending on how you see the concept of parenthood, this may be a disadvantage for you or not.
In short, with surrogacy the child is born because you create an embryo or embryos to have a baby. In the case of adoption, you’re giving a child the opportunity to have a family.
I hope I have made myself clear regarding the fundamental differences between surrogacy and adoption.
Best regards05/29/2018 at 15:10
Hello, surrogacy or adoption is a very hot topic and a long discussion. None is better than the other, the difference lies in your circumstances. I f you consider surrogacy you should keep in mind the expenses and moral and ethical boundaries. Also legal restrictions in some states make surrogacy difficult. But the plus point is that the baby will be genetically linked to you and it will be easier to establish a bond between you and the baby. Adoption on the other hand is entirely different. If you think you have a big enough heart to love another kid as your own then you may go for it. It will definitely give you the feeling of fulfillment. But adoption is less expensive and more lengthy. The legal boundaries are more clear and defined as compared to surrogacy. So in the end its your decision as to which option will work better for you. Good Luck08/24/2018 at 17:51
I agree with Sandra. It is solely in your hands. You are wise enough to balance out the pros and cons. I would give you my opinion here. I think it is better to opt for surrogacy. With that being said, however, it depends on a few things. First of all, it should be legal in your country. If surrogacy is not legal in your country then there is no point in going for it. It will only waste your money. In addition, you need to keep in mind the charges. You can very well observe them from this site. They are visible on the right side of this window. If you think the charges are feasible for you. You should definitely go for it. My argument here would be that you have the chances of having a baby who has your genes. If you think this factor is not important then obviously go for the latter. Adoption is not a bad option too. I hope I could help.08/25/2018 at 10:07
Adoption has disadvantages as mentioned by Sandra. I think the better option would be to choose surrogacy. At least it will make you the biological parents. Surrogacy is illegal in some countries. I don’t know where you live. If you live in a country which has it not banned then you should go for it. Why not give it a chance. It is obvious after knowing if you can afford it. Indeed every decision has its pros and cons. I think surrogacy has more pros than its cons relatively. You can have a baby and yet you will not feel the emptiness. That is felt with adoption. Take care of your wife. Baby dust to her. I hope you guys make good parents.08/25/2018 at 16:29
Well, your wife has definitely been through a lot. She has faced too much pain. Knowing that she is infertile because of cancer is too much to handle. Now thanks to technology we do not have to put an end to our dreams. The technology gives us new hope that one must not give up at all. The dream of having a family, because there are possibilities out there which we can avail. Surrogacy and adoption both can be good for you guys. I would recommend you to go for surrogacy. Since a lot of infertile couples are taking advantage of this opportunity. The success rate is also high and getting higher and higher in this field. The journey which people have is also amazing but requires time. So hope for the best and best of luck for the future.08/25/2018 at 16:48
Having a baby is one of the best feelings in the world. It is really very difficult to go through life without a baby. Surrogacy and Adoption are those ways which every infertile is considering nowadays. And it is really good to see that you guys are also going for it. Surrogacy and Adoption are the two totally different ways to have a baby. In surrogacy, the child belongs to the intended parent biologically. On the other hands, in adoption child belongs to their real parents. Also, in adoption, there is a legal work of custody. While on the other hand there is no legality issue in surrogacy. Both these process has their own pros and cons. Hope so my reply will help you in taking a decision. Wish you the best of luck.08/25/2018 at 17:22
It’s really good to share your problem here. The specialist and the experienced person will definitely guide you. Well, I think surrogacy is better than adoption in many ways. And if I have to choose between these two I will definitely go for a surrogacy. Because in surrogacy child is biologically mine. Also, the expenses and legal terms of adoption are quite unaffordable as compared to surrogacy. In the past, people use to go for adoption because they were left with no other options.08/25/2018 at 20:19
best of luck08/26/2018 at 08:08
Well, if you guys do go for surrogacy, you will be using donor eggs. Your wife does not have ovaries. This means she cannot create eggs. If she does not have eggs to offer, to have a child through surrogacy you would have to get eggs from someone. It can be the surrogate or someone else. Thus, the child would be genetically related to you, but not your wife. This is better than adoption though. As in that case, the child would not be related to you at all.
So you really need to see things from various aspects. In either case, the child would not be related to your wife. Through surrogacy, if your sperm is used, the child would be yours but have no link to your wife. So if you guys are okay with that, I think you should go for surrogacy. Also, it would be best not to use eggs from the surrogate, as it can create issues in the future. Also, make sure you understand the laws regarding surrogacy. Best of luck.08/26/2018 at 16:54
Well, I am sorry for your situation. Nobody should go through such a pain. What I am glad to know is that you are such a nice supportive partner. Not many people would accept a woman who cannot give them a child. It’s just how the society works. So you need to know between Adoption and surrogacy. Well, both of these are very different aspects. It will solely depend on how big of a heart you have. Do you want to have your own baby? Genetically it will be related to the father. As you said that your wife has had both ovaries removed. Only you can donate a healthy sperm. Gestational surrogacy will be the option for you guys. It will cost you a lot of fortune as well. You will have to be involved in the selection process for the surrogate. Conduct various tests to ensure sperm and egg quality. It needs to be fertilized to be transferred into the surrogate. Then IUI is also suitable in your case.08/26/2018 at 18:22
Surrogacy and adoption both are two completely different procedures. When involves a baby from the biological parents being given to the couple who decides to adopt them. Whereas surrogacy involves being able to have children that are biologically yours. The difference between the two is great. You just have to research and see what suits you the most. In my case, it was surrogacy mainly because of the desire to have my own child. However, we should respect everyone’s personal choice. Good luck to all.08/26/2018 at 18:47
Sorry to hear about your wife condition. I guess she will be fine now. I am also infertile and i can’t have a baby naturally. I am also in the same condition.
I can’t get pregnant and i don’t know the reason for it too.
The doctors are also unable to find the reason for this.
I have gone through extensive testings but the doctors are also unable to find the main cause for my infertility.
They can’t tell the main problem.
I have been trying to conceive from last 10 years now.
But still, i didn’t conceive.
As doctors can’t tell the main cause of my infertility i guess i will go for surrogacy now.
I live in Bulgaria where surrogacy is prohibited.09/28/2018 at 11:05
One makes this personal choice of surrogacy I guess mainly on the basis of genetic relation. You can keep both with surrogacy, or have it one-sided, but at least you can preserve half of the genes. With adoption it’s out of the question. And adoption is not always an easier and faster process than surrogacy. In some countries, it may cost almost the same sums as surrogacy. Moreover, a couple may wait for years before taking the kid home. A couple may put in years to get the right to parent a kid which cannot be the pro of the process. Another question is the emotional side. I could never dare to say ‘‘why not adopt?’’ to people struggling. But personally read this phrase not once from people trying to ‘‘support’’. This is everybody’s personal choice no one can judge. Or give this piece of advice. This post made me cry for hours some time ago…A woman was writing her dh had cancer. So they wanted to do everything to save his genes in their baby…So this is their right and their main purpose, so why one should say ‘‘Adopt simply!’’ Gosh, sometimes people can hurt so much08/22/2020 at 13:25
Other topics related to this forum